When I was a child, my twin brothers and I had a childhood friend who was raised by his grandmother and great-grandmother. I actually never really knew the name of his great-grandmother as he had a very special name for her and it was ’mean mom’. He chose to call her by this name because she was always raising her voice to him or giving him heck for something. Because ‘mean mom’ was heping to raise him, it seemed as though he was disciplined twice on what seemed to be a daily basis.
This is a cute and funny memory from my childhood street that stuck with me over the years. Now that I’m 34, I’m more aware as an adult, that anger tends to stick with us and becomes a part of our biology over the years. For those of you who don’t think you’re angry people…it’s in you somewhere! I don’t think people who know me would consider me an angry person but I’m sure there is some anger stored up somewhere in my subconscious and in my body. I thought it would be a healthy exercise to journal about experiences, people and situations in our past that may have imprinted some anger into our cells. Anger not only shows up in the face but in the body. Dis-ease can be routed in anger, guilt, envy and other emotions that have an impact not only on ourselves but on those around us.
I often speak about books by Michael Brown and in his most recent book ‘Alchemy of the Heart’, here is his philosophy on why we are so angry:
“As Children, we radiated innocently and unconditionally into our life experience, and often the beauty of our radiance was not reflected within our experiences. We all entered this life as unconditional vibrational beings, and the process of entering a conditional emotional, mental and physical experience is heatbreaking for an unconditional being. We are now angry about our unseen shit from presence to pretence. We are angry about having to become “well-behaved,” standing statue-still with barely one toe moving when the circumstancs of life call for jubilant dancing and chanting. We are furious at addictively being incarcerated by consistently doing the ‘right’ thing and the ‘expected’ thing to make it in the calculated and prententious adult world. We are exhausted from “playing it safe” and having to come across as ‘”a nice person” so we do not “upset anyone” or “cause unnecessary conflict.” Within us thee is a child bound by order, control, sedation, expectation, judgment, and self-denial. Our anger is this child screaming for air and sunlight from within the dungeon of our forgotten heart. Whenever we self-medicate, we are practicing internalized child abuse.”
-Michael Brown, Alchemy of the Heart
How’s that for an honest response to why we are all angry? Anyone relate to this?
